4 things I need

There are things we all need in our lives. And for a very long time now I have been good at doing what everyone else needs of me. Support, love, stability, encouragement, everyday essentials, boundries, rules, routine, consequences, understanding, wisdom, fun, a friend, an Aunty and a mother role model. And so my life has consistently been about everyone else. I have lived in the shadows of my own life, caught up in what everyone else needs from me without ever really considering what I need for myself. So here are some things, as I take some time to reflect on the last 6 years of being a mother/aunt and parental person to 6 amazing kids!

1. I need to look after myself. I’m yet to know what that looks like as I have never ever in my whole life learned how to look after myself. Mind, body and soul. As I head to the doctor tomorrow to do a mental health plan I am beginning a road to fully recover from my past trauma with the aim to become more whole as a being. Meeting my own needs. And that’s okay.

2. I need and aim to do what is best for me and my children. Each and all 6 of them. I’m in the process of re-evaluating my life. I’m in the process of putting what I want aside to bring forward what each of the kids and I need long term. Even if what everyone needs hurts me. I haven’t been coping with life the way it is right now. And the kids haven’t gotten the best of me for a while now. I’m burnt out, I’m tired, I’m exhausted and recently when my niece ran away from home it triggered my own trauma. A month without her here has effected everyone and so when my nephew lashed out at me yesterday I realised two things. I realised how broken, exhausted and drained I am but also how much he needs his sister. To him, I’m the reason he doesn’t have her here with him and knowing I can’t give him that, I did what we both needed and put the kids into respite - together, while I get some much needed rest from the pressures of life and raising these kids completely on my own. I know I’m not the strong and capable woman I was 6 years ago and it’s not fair on the kids to pretend that I am.

3. I need space! I need space from all the pressure of constantly answering to somebody, constantly being on the ball, space from social media and anything that takes me away from my needs but most importantly I need space to raise these kids. Living in a 2 and a half bedroom house was fine when they were younger but as theyre growing and hormones kick in they need their own space. And I need mine. I have shared a bedroom with my daughter for the last 6 years, sleeping in a single bed to accommodate my sisters four kids. I have fought with housing, with DHS, with local members of parliament to plead my case for more space and it’s fallen on deaf ears. If they want me to continue to raise these kids and for me to have success of bringing up our next gen with all that they deserve, the least they can do is give me the space to do it. 

4. I need Gods favor. I realize I cannot do this alone. 

Please pray for me and my family. 

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5 things I love to do

What makes each of us unique and different are the things we love to do. None of us are the same. We may have similarities as others but we all find joy in a vast variety of things that awaken our souls and our souls only. Here are a few of the things I love to do..


Swim
I absolutely love being in and around water. Whether it be the ocean, lake, river or a swimming pool; I feel it being so good for my soul. I could camp beside it, fish in it and most of all swim init for hours. There is nothing more refreshing as being completely submerged, weightless and free.

Photograph
I really love capturing all of Gods creation through the eye of my camera lens. Capturing the kids doing the things they love, sunsets, things you don't see everyday or nature it's all beautiful and worth the click. I also love editing and manipulating photographs. Nothing is impossible.

Stay up late
In a quite room, in a quiet house, in a quiet world is where I'm most at peace. I get the most done deep in my thoughts. It's where I read and take in the most information, where I research and when I feel most inspired. You can find me looking up recipes, nutrition websites, reading my bible or seeking parenting advice. I love this quiet time knowing all my kids are close by, tucked up in bed.

Escape
And by escape I mean.. ESCAPE! I prefer it to be with my kids but I'm getting more and more used to being without them without feeling so guilty. I love leaving the housework, the bills, the responsibility of every day life behind to just enjoy moments somewhere away from home. The country, the city or by the beach, I love trading the autopilot life I live in to delve into the unknown.

Listen to Music
This will come as a shock to nobody who knows me. I lived my whole adolescents with my headphones in and now live my adult life with the most expensive things in my life being my care stereo and the soundbar in my lounge area. I need music for all of my moods and listen to a huge variety of music each with their own need in my life.

Do we share the same interests? Maybe you're completely opposite.. I love that about us as people and am intrigued to learn how and why we're so unique. Here are some pics of me doing the things I love!

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100 Prayers

While at bible study last Wednesday night I (Along with my two eldest children) were asked to write down 100 prayers requests. Once written we were told to pray for those 100 things and watch God move within them. So here goes..

1. My Dads salvation 
2. My sister to get clean 
3. My sister to have a relationship with her kids
4. My eldest niece to complete year 12
5. My eldest niece to learn to drive
6. My eldest niece to put God first
7. My eldest niece to find a wonderful partner who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated and whom will never leave her. 
8. My sons depression 
9. My son to know Gods love
10. Wisdom for my son 
11. My son to find direction in life
12. My daughters anxiety and fears
13. My daughter to know Gods love
14. My daughter to be able to embrace change
15. My daughters health
16. My nephew to give his heart to Jesus
17. My nephew and I to become closer
18. My nephew to build lifelong friendships 
19. My nephew to succeed in school
20. My youngest niece to give her heart to Jesus
21. My youngest niece to grow up with her siblings
22. My youngest niece to succeed in her education and hit her milestones
23. My youngest nieces attitude towards authority 
24. My middle niece to know Gods love
25. My middle niece to accept my love and protection 
26. My middle niece to finish year 9
27. My middle niece to choose to have a good life 
28. My middle niece to always feel loved
29. Wisdom for my middle niece to make wise choices
30. A new car
31. A new house
32. My brother to come clean and accept help
33. My friend Z Health and mental health
34. My friend K health and mental health 
35. My friend C health and mental health
36. My friend N health and mental health
37. My friend A health and mental health
38. No complications for friend N when birthing her 5th child
39. For my friends L & T to find fulfilment.
40. For my friend D to live more Christlike and become even closer to our Father in heaven
41. For my friend T to find direction now all her kids have left home
42. For all of my friends to get saved
43. For my kids to make so wholesome Christian friendships
44. For my kids teachers to be saved
45. For my community to come to know Jesus 
46. For God to speak to me
47. For God to help me become more comfortable in public prayer
48. For wisdom in parenthood
49. For Confidence when talking about Jesus
50. For help with trust in my friendships
51. For wisdom in my friendships
52. For direction in my life
53. For a revelation 
54. For purpose
55. For provision for my family
56. For provision over my friends and community 
57. For the pastors and leaders of our church
58. For the pastors and leaders of the world
59. To get in front with my bills
60. To love those who are hard to love
61. To forgive those who have hurt me
62. To stop swearing 
63. To become more motivated 
64. To read the whole bible 
65. To love God above all else
66. To let my yes be yes and my no be no
67. To trust only in the Lord
68. To be a good role model to my kids
69. To teach my kids about God
70. To live a little more quietly 
71. To always be thankful 
72. To show compassion 
73. To choose to see the good in people
74. To bless others
75. To fast for something worthy
76. To keep my promises
77. To be present 
78. To create Joy 
79. To listen to understand and not to reply
80. To not be a drunkard
81. To not be a glutton 
82. To share what I have with others 
83. To confess my sins daily 
84. To hear the unheard
85. To see the unseen
86. To love the unloved
87. To do what is right even if its hard
88. To look after the environment
89. To look after my neighbors 
90. To accept discipline from my father
91. Worship more
92. Church more 
93. Pray more
94. Judge less
95. See the blessings God gives me
96. Be kinder
97. Be more thankful 
98. Be braver
99. Be stronger
100. To be so strong in my faith and love for God that I be unshakable, unbreakable and unstoppable.

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5 Things i Love about my Mum

Hello, I'm Nevaeh and i am 10 years old. This is my first blog ever!!! I thought I'd share 5 things i love about my Mum.

The first thing i love about my Mum is she teaches me how to fish.

The second thing i love about my Mum is she always try's hard to looks after everyone

The third thing i love about my Mum is she makes sure everyone is fed and full and okay before herself.

The fourth thing i love about my Mum is she buyers things for other people and puts other before herself.

The fifth thing love about my Mum is she always makes time for everyone and makes sure everyone's okay.

I hope enjoyed my first blog post, my Mum is the best Mum ever and what are some things you love about your Mum?

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4 things I am yet to do

So I hope you guys are learning a little about me so far, I have just edited my "about me" page too, updating it to where I'm at in life and adding my accomplishments to date. But today, as a post, I thought I'd share 4 things that I am yet to do in my life. Four of my desires that I hope I get the opportunity to do one day. In no Particular order they are:

Kayak Fishing for Dusky Flathead at Lake Tyres, VIC

This will come as no surprise to any of my kids reading this, but to a lot of people who are yet to get to know me this has been on my heart for a while now. Why Kayak fishing? Why Dusky Flathead? and Why Lake Tyres? right? Well the female Dusky Flathead in Lake Tyres are protected. They're also monstrous with people said to be catching them over 110cm in legnth. That is a decent fish! Kayaking because I love a bit of a challenge and Lake Tyres is a beautiful little fishing spot down East Gippsland and a spot my Dad used to take us to as kids and now takes his grandchildren on adventures to. Both my kids first fish were caught there and so it holds much more than just the trophy fish in it's waters! It's a place of family moments and memories.


Travel Australia with my Kids

Not just any road though or with any map. I want Dad to mark the map and choose the roads. My Dad who was diagnosed with cancer in 2018 has traveled this country and has always loved sharing his adventures with me and the kids. Pulling out photo albums and showing us the amazing things he has seen and done in his life, I know he would have wanted to show and share these with his grandson, my son Jie. But he is now dealing with an illness that prevents him from doing this and which will end his life long before his eldest grandson even learns how to drive. So this is why I want to do this. Not just with Jie but with my daughter Nevaeh too. At just 10 years old she is an outdoor enthusiast. She loves walking tracks and fishing and camping and learning about nature and animals. Jie is very easy going in personality but Nevaeh lives fiercely. She is the one begging her Pop to take her camping and fishing while Jie allows others to take the lead and just goes with the flow. One day though, I'm going to pull out that map my Dad makes and just go.. and I cannot wait!

Move Interstate

Thinking ahead, when my Dad passes away there will be nothing keeping me here in Victoria. Apart from supporting my kids through school and hopefully towards successful careers my heart is not down here. Don't get me wrong, I do love this town and love raising my kids here but I need to be somewhere tropical. Somewhere warm and close to water. Coffs Harbour in New South Wales or a smaller coastal town in Queensland somewhere is where you'd likely find me 10 years from now. I just hope I make it outta this town which has been all I've known since I was 17 years old.


Work

For the past 15 years all I have done is raise kids. First my own and now my sisters 4 kids. This has been quite a roller coaster and as of lately, it has pushed me to my limits. Emotionally and Mentally I am just exhausted. Unlike most people, I do this without any support. I am the glue, the one who keeps everyone and everything together. I am the strong one for everyone and I live my life on "high alert" and "on watch" and have done my whole entire life. My worst fears are to lose any of our next generation to drugs or alcoholism. I live my life without a fallback. If I don't show up, no one shows up in my place. If I don't get shit done, no one gets shit done. I am my own fallback and always have been. Add the pressure of people, like your closest friends and family wanting to see you and these kids fail so they can "I told you so", my middle niece being in the care of another carer at the moment and refusing to come home, my daughter having separation anxiety and my car currently off the road and that is just a taste of what I'm deal with at the moment. While raising these kids the past 6 years I have done things I never thought possible with 6 kids in toe. I have got my diploma completing an 18 month course. I have got my licence, saved for a car and I even managed work experience around my kids. It was tough especially for my daughter, but I did it. I don't know when my life will calm down enough for me to get a full time job but it's definitely something I want and that I'm working towards.

What are four things you're yet to do in your life?

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First 10 songs that play on Shuffle

Songs say a lot about a person, so I thought you guys could get to know me through my playlist. Have you ever wanted to checkout your friends playlist? their car playlist? or their shower playlist? I'm going to press shuffle on my phone playlist and write down the first 10 songs that play..


Believe - Cher
Takeaway - The Chainsmokers
Father and Son - Cat Stevens
Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days
Hope - The Chainsmokers
I'm the One - DJ Khalid
Cats in the Cradle - Harry Chaplin
Heal the world - Michael Jackson
God of Wonders - Paul Baloche
Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue

Well that was interesting! I don't even remember downloading Cher but The Chainsmokers coming up twice is totally me! I love The Chainsmokers, Missy Higgins, Kygo and Ed Sheerans old stuff so they were bound to pop up! Anyhoo.. There is a glimpse into my playlist. I'm surprised no Christmas songs came up because every time we're in the car, my kids have to skip the Christmas songs. They always tell me to delete them but as I do I blink and its Christmas again so now I just leave them on there. They get so embarrassed if we have company in the car. But I'm sure we will all laugh about it one day!

Feel free to share yours below! I'd love to hear them..

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Awww Mondays

So I just crossed this blog tonight and thought I'd link in for "Awww Mondays".

With a quick flick through my photos let's see how many Awww's this pic gets..

To join this blog hop click here..

Happy Monday Everyone!!

This was a photo taken on my phone today by my 10yo daughter who was sending photos of her animals to her new friend at school on Instagram! This is Max, our 3 year old pure breed Black Labrador! Looks like he smiled for her and her friend <3 

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Top 10 meals for our Large Family!

Being on social media over the last 10 years has taught me a lot! Millions of people alive on this planet doing their own thing with the resources they have around them. Here in Australia we are in abundant supply of foods, cultures and opportunities giving us new things to learn all the time.

Today I thought I’d share some of our family favourite dishes, our go-to meals living as a large family. We have kids with different preferences of tastes and textures but these meals are made at least once a month with at least 5/6 kids eating and enjoying their flavours.

1.  Roast chicken and salad Rolls

6/6 kids eat this and on busy nights when no one wants to cook!

2.  Honey Mustard Chicken with Rice

5/6 kids eat this and it’s by far the most requested meal in our family.

3.  Spaghetti Bolognese 

6/6 kids eat this as long as there are no visible veggies in it.

4.  Chicken Satay and Rice

5/6 eat this and never any complaints.

5.  Fish, chips and salad

6/6 kids eat this with once child preferring no salad.

6.  Chicken Parma, chips and Salad

6/6 with the 4 older ones knowing how to cook it also.

7.  Curried Sausages with Mash

5/6 kids eat this and if done in the slow cooker it allows us to enjoy a night off from the kitchen.

8.  Slow Cooked Farmhouse Chicken 

5/6 kids eat this and love it with a buttered tiger roll. Great for busy afternoons.

9.  Beef Stroganoff with Mash 

5/6 kids eat this New-ish favourite meal

10. Chicken and Cashew Nut Stirfry

6/6 kids eat this and I never ever find a cashew nut in the leftovers. 

Last night I made Shepherds Pie in our pie maker for the first time! They were delicious with the kids going back for more! I’m new to making pies so will have to look up some tasty recipes!

If you have any favourite pie recipes please please please share them below!

And I could always do with some dinner inspiration, what’s your families favourite meals?

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Refreshing my Blog in Feb

This month, I don't have any birthdays, the kids are all back at school and I am left alone with my computer for at least 5 hours a day so I thought it would be fun to reconnect with my followers, friends and family on here for you to get a sense of who I am. I have changed a lot since beginning this blog and so lets hit refresh. This month I will share random things such as >> what I love >> people in my life I could never forget >> what drives me crazy >> things I never thought I could do >> must haves for a large family Vacay >> events in my life that have shaped who I am today.. plus more! If there is something you'd like me to cover as my top 10 please leave a comment! I'll try and answer as many as I can! This year lets get back to basics, lets reconnect with each other and get real about who we really are! I really miss blogging and want to commit more to sharing and reading! Let's do this!

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