So here is what our January looked like this year. Here in Australia January is our Summer time and I look forward to Summer as it's my favorite season. Everyone is so happy and the town is so lively, I wait all year for sun-kissed skin and an excuse to head to the ocean. Here are a few photo's from our January that I'd like to share with you.
The first photo is of David and I, this photo was technically taken on the second of January but I felt I wanted to start with this photo to emphasize my love and appreciation for this man. Struggling with the loss of my Dad as well as facing a family I've never been welcomed into at his funeral took it's toll on me emotionally and mentally. Put that together with grieving, covid isolation, David being out of work, finance struggles and children going back to school, I appreciated the fact that at the end of so many shit days that I had someone to hold and to hold me as I cried myself to sleep. I feel so thankful and blessed to have a man so willing to make my days a little easier and whom tries to lighten the load for us. January 17th marked 1 year and 5 months together.
So January 1st I spent the day recovering in Zo's bathtub before picking up my niece Justine and spending the afternoon in the pool at Nat and Dans! NYE we spent with my oldest friend Zoe whom my Kids call Aunty Zo and her three eldest kids Saige, Sanjay and Sadie. Zoe and I got absolutely shit face drunk and I mean shit faced! I (not realizing) spent my rent money on alcohol for the first (and hopefully last) time in my life! I was just so full of grief after losing Dad and just wanted to ride myself off and so I did. David and the kids had fun recording us as we bought in the new year with fireworks, glow sticks and apparently lots of drunk phone calls in which I don't recall.
On the 2nd of January we celebrated Ace's 18th.
On the 7th of January I attended the funeral of my Dad whom not only was my rock in life.. but my go-to. Watching him take his last breath and holding him as his heart slowly stopped beating was truly the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life to date, but to live without his wisdom, his reassurance on the hard days and to know that I can never see or speak to him again has been a massive adjustment. There is no equivalent of a parent whom loves us unconditionally. I carry him with me in everything I do and hope he's watching me proudly from the other side.
After the funeral it's been the little things helping me get on with life. Like the books I read and have ordered (which came today) to keep my mind occupied, my feet in the ocean to feel grounded, the long drives with the windows down and music up for icecream, the new drink bottle I forgot David bought me for Christmas and the late nights playing switch with David and my son Jiedyn when I couldn't sleep. Trying to find the positives in my everyday became crucial for my mental health. Having a go-to counselor at the press of a button also helps. Thankful.
After a week of isolation after Dad's funeral, David and I have also headed down to where the Werribee River meets the sea to fish. We have created a new tradition to stay connected to Dad. When we go fishing now we take at least two rods. One of Dads and one of ours to see who could catch the most fish. On this particular day we fished the afternoon away and only my rod got a bite. But as we reeled the rods in to leave we realized that there was a fish on Dad's fishing rod. Which was just typical of Dad.. He was always competitive and for his rod to catch a fish at the last second really filled my heart with love and a closeness to him. A beautiful bream in which I Rex Hunt Kissed and Released back into the water just as Dad taught me.
Dad's fishing rod's 1
My fishing rods 0
On the 19th of January I needed out of the house again and so David and I headed up to the lookout after dinner at our favorite restaurant. Here are some photo's of us..
Healing is hard when you lose someone you love and while spending the days with people you love and adore on earth, guilt also comes that I'm still here to enjoy life while my Dad isn't and so at times I just feel empty. I feel unworthy to live. It's been so nice to be in the company of my family whom keep me strong and make me laugh. I couldn't have gotten this far without them honestly.
After receiving an invoice from the funeral directors and the figure being more than I initially thought it would be, I was forced to sell my mum van. It was a bitter sweet day with me knowing I had to do it but also keeping in mind all the wonderful trips we took in that car. From Lakes Entrance, to Warnambool but also to youth group, church every Sunday, sporting events and everything in between. My mum van was my first car and so it was sad for her to go along with all the memories. The closing of one chapter and the opening of another.
On the 24th we spent the day at the pool with Zo and the kids before heading to Sunshine to see Scream at the cinemas. Jie couldnt believe Davids luck when he won the major prize on two of the arcade games he played before the movie. Pictures below..
On the 25th we all met Aunty Zo and the kids again at the pool. It was such a beautiful family time for us all being together enjoying each others company.
I went back to work this month and have received some pretty epic news. I'm moving from Part time into full time work!! Before Christmas I was looking at other jobs as my part-time wage just wasn't cutting it for us as a family. But when I returned to work my boss' organised a way to make my current position full time. So next month I will be officially full time. I am so thankful for the team of people whom made this happen for me. I love my job and working with the Aboriginal community and look forward to reaching out into the community to have our people linking in with their culture and encouraging people to take charge of their health. Thankful.
Just wanted to make a small mention although I didn't spend the day with my niece for her birthday, I am proud to announce that my eldest niece is officially no longer a teen! Love you Jeanette if you're reading this. So proud of you. The photo below if of us on the 11th of December at Flanagans in Bacchus Marsh.
Sunday the 30th of January we took a trip to the beach together with my niece Justine and my best friends son Sanjay. We spent the afternoon swimming, fishing, playing tennis and soccer and enjoyed chicken rolls and salad for dinner together at the beach. The kids collected sea shells all slept well after such a fun day out.
And finally, on the last day of January the kids officially started back at school. The baby of our family, Nevaeh Anne, started High School. Very thankful for her father whom helped with purchasing her uniform this year. Thank you Matt. Nevaeh came home after school full of life telling us all about her first day!
And that’s a wrap!
Until next month, stay safe and hold your loved ones close. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
With Love,
Mel