Sunday, 5 April 2020

Sausage Pasta

New recipe: 
6 sausages 
1tsp or tbs garlic
1 grated carrot
Pasta sauce 
Penne pasta

Boil pasta with salt

Brown sausages 
Add onion and garlic
Add grated carrot 
Add sauce 

Drain pasta!! 
Mix all together 

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Thursday, 26 March 2020

Portland 2020

This year has been by far the hardest year in my adult life, I mean, I have been through a hell of a lot of crap in my 31 years on this earth but this year is the only year that has been filled with doubt and uncertainty. 

So around a month ago, while in some of my darker days, I just wanted my Dad. I didn’t know what I was doing, or who to trust or how to fee or what to think! I hit a point in my life I had no control of and all I wanted was my Dad. 

His days on this earth are numbered and only God really knows when he will leave us but in the midst of all the madness going on around me and within me.. I know I needed to escape my life, my house and my own mind. 

So I called Dad and it’s funny that he already knew. Him and I are so similar in the way we think that he’d already sort of planned it all previous to my call. 

On the other end of the phone, right when I needed him the most he also knew I needed a break and some time with my Dad.

Portland came up and so that was that.

Organised in a month in advance it was a trip just meant for a father and his daughter. But as the weeks drew closer the Corona Virus also hit the shores of Australia and our state. Everything was against us with Jie then set to come with us and everyone having so much to say, we never let anything get in our way. Packing the car the day before Nevaehs Dad cancelled (as he does, she is lucky to see the bastard once a month) last minute and so we took her with us too. 

The weekend was amazing! I mean, was Dad - Dad.. yeah of course he was! Moody, lacking patience at times but there to teach us something at every opportunity and that’s exactly why we went. 

Knowing I’m going to lose my Dad one day it’s scary and heartbreaking and hurts more and more as that day nears. But there is so much he has yet to show and teach me and this weekend away proved that in every way. 

Day 1 (Friday) we drove around, got a few bits and bobs we needed and had a bbq at the local park. Afterward we ventured out to the lighthouse before we got checked into our stay at the Retro Motel. The kids saw wind turbines up close while Dad told jokes about the one that wasn’t working as we all laughed. We were also lucky enough to see an echidna walking into the brush. Nevaeh and I got out to take a look and admired it before it went into the scrub. 

At the motel we checked in, met the owner and talked fishing for a bit. We got everything out the car and Dad and I went through the tackle boxes in preparation for the next day. 

Dad got KFC for dinner and treated the kids to maccas! They stayed up a while watching tv before we all fell asleep somewhere before 12am.

Saturday morning no one was in a hurry to get up. We packed the rods and tackle boxes into the car and went to squidding.. This was the kids and my first time so Dad taught us the technique and soon enough we had the hang of it. But no squid were around. 

Dad then navigated is to the pier where he’d got a tip off a local that fish were getting caught and after we’d only just got there, I’d thrown my rod in and I was reeling in my first fish of the trip! But.. there was only one problem.. Sammy the seal (a known local seal of the area) was hot on the tail of the fish I was reeling in and just as I bought it up out of the water, he yanked it off my line! Nevaeh was hysterically laughing and I was sort of stunned but amazed! What a cheeky little local! Jie and Nevaeh also threw their rods in and while they both reeled their rods in at the same time, this cheeky seal took Jies fish but left him the fish head as a gift. The kids loved the excitement but this seal wasn’t going to let us keep any fish! So we went around the other side of the jetty and Nevaeh caught herself 4 fish for the morning and Jie caught 5 and a half (hahah or a head!). 

The bites soon died down so we went back to the motel where I cooked a bbq lunch. Afterwards I had a bit of a snooze as Dad and Nevaeh put the surf rods together. 

An hour before dark we went to the rock wall. We drove our car and fished from the side of it! As it grew dark we got a few bites but there was no excitement! That was until Jie wound in a stingray! Yep.. a banjo stingray! Dad got the hook out no worries and let him go.. the kids were impressed. And with nothing else biting for the night that’s where the fun ended. 

We got back to the motel, had leftovers for dinner and packed a bit of the car. I had a can with Dad and enjoyed our small talk while the kids watched School of Rock until bedtime. We all had showers to wash the fishy smell off us before bed. Dad, as on all trips had us all laughing with his dry humour in the dark before we all eventually fell asleep. 

Sunday we got up and packed everything back in the car. The car trip home was fun, stopping every half hour or so for Dad to go toilet. I used to only tell the kids of this happening while on trips but they finally got to experience it first hand! 

I drove Dad home, stayed a minute to help him put things away and then was back on the road home. We left at 9.30am and were home at 5pm. I ordered parmas and the kids and I sat on the couch together catching up on the news. I was asleep by 6.30pm. 

Photos below.. 

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Monday, 17 February 2020

4 things I need

There are things we all need in our lives. And for a very long time now I have been good at doing what everyone else needs of me. Support, love, stability, encouragement, everyday essentials, boundries, rules, routine, consequences, understanding, wisdom, fun, a friend, an Aunty and a mother role model. And so my life has consistently been about everyone else. I have lived in the shadows of my own life, caught up in what everyone else needs from me without ever really considering what I need for myself. So here are some things, as I take some time to reflect on the last 6 years of being a mother/aunt and parental person to 6 amazing kids!

1. I need to look after myself. I’m yet to know what that looks like as I have never ever in my whole life learned how to look after myself. Mind, body and soul. As I head to the doctor tomorrow to do a mental health plan I am beginning a road to fully recover from my past trauma with the aim to become more whole as a being. Meeting my own needs. And that’s okay.

2. I need and aim to do what is best for me and my children. Each and all 6 of them. I’m in the process of re-evaluating my life. I’m in the process of putting what I want aside to bring forward what each of the kids and I need long term. Even if what everyone needs hurts me. I haven’t been coping with life the way it is right now. And the kids haven’t gotten the best of me for a while now. I’m burnt out, I’m tired, I’m exhausted and recently when my niece ran away from home it triggered my own trauma. A month without her here has effected everyone and so when my nephew lashed out at me yesterday I realised two things. I realised how broken, exhausted and drained I am but also how much he needs his sister. To him, I’m the reason he doesn’t have her here with him and knowing I can’t give him that, I did what we both needed and put the kids into respite - together, while I get some much needed rest from the pressures of life and raising these kids completely on my own. I know I’m not the strong and capable woman I was 6 years ago and it’s not fair on the kids to pretend that I am.

3. I need space! I need space from all the pressure of constantly answering to somebody, constantly being on the ball, space from social media and anything that takes me away from my needs but most importantly I need space to raise these kids. Living in a 2 and a half bedroom house was fine when they were younger but as theyre growing and hormones kick in they need their own space. And I need mine. I have shared a bedroom with my daughter for the last 6 years, sleeping in a single bed to accommodate my sisters four kids. I have fought with housing, with DHS, with local members of parliament to plead my case for more space and it’s fallen on deaf ears. If they want me to continue to raise these kids and for me to have success of bringing up our next gen with all that they deserve, the least they can do is give me the space to do it. 

4. I need Gods favor. I realize I cannot do this alone. 

Please pray for me and my family. 

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Thursday, 13 February 2020

5 things I love to do

What makes each of us unique and different are the things we love to do. None of us are the same. We may have similarities as others but we all find joy in a vast variety of things that awaken our souls and our souls only. Here are a few of the things I love to do..

I absolutely love being in and around water. Whether it be the ocean, lake, river or a swimming pool; I feel it being so good for my soul. I could camp beside it, fish in it and most of all swim init for hours. There is nothing more refreshing as being completely submerged, weightless and free.

I really love capturing all of Gods creation through the eye of my camera lens. Capturing the kids doing the things they love, sunsets, things you don't see everyday or nature it's all beautiful and worth the click. I also love editing and manipulating photographs. Nothing is impossible.

Stay up late
In a quite room, in a quiet house, in a quiet world is where I'm most at peace. I get the most done deep in my thoughts. It's where I read and take in the most information, where I research and when I feel most inspired. You can find me looking up recipes, nutrition websites, reading my bible or seeking parenting advice. I love this quiet time knowing all my kids are close by, tucked up in bed.

And by escape I mean.. ESCAPE! I prefer it to be with my kids but I'm getting more and more used to being without them without feeling so guilty. I love leaving the housework, the bills, the responsibility of every day life behind to just enjoy moments somewhere away from home. The country, the city or by the beach, I love trading the autopilot life I live in to delve into the unknown.

Listen to Music
This will come as a shock to nobody who knows me. I lived my whole adolescents with my headphones in and now live my adult life with the most expensive things in my life being my care stereo and the soundbar in my lounge area. I need music for all of my moods and listen to a huge variety of music each with their own need in my life.

Do we share the same interests? Maybe you're completely opposite.. I love that about us as people and am intrigued to learn how and why we're so unique. Here are some pics of me doing the things I love!

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Monday, 10 February 2020

100 Prayers

While at bible study last Wednesday night I (Along with my two eldest children) were asked to write down 100 prayers requests. Once written we were told to pray for those 100 things and watch God move within them. So here goes..

  1. My Dads salvation 
  2. My sister to get clean 
  3. My sister to have a relationship with her kids
  4. My eldest niece to complete year 12
  5. My eldest niece to learn to drive
  6. My eldest niece to put God first
  7. My eldest niece to find a wonderful partner who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated and whom will never leave her. 
  8. My sons depression 
  9. My son to know Gods love
  10. Wisdom for my son 
  11. My son to find direction in life
  12. My daughters anxiety and fears
  13. My daughter to know Gods love
  14. My daughter to be able to embrace change
  15. My daughters health
  16. My nephew to give his heart to Jesus
  17. My nephew and I to become closer
  18. My nephew to build lifelong friendships 
  19. My nephew to succeed in school
  20. My youngest niece to give her heart to Jesus
  21. My youngest niece to grow up with her siblings
  22. My youngest niece to succeed in her education and hit her milestones
  23. My youngest nieces attitude towards authority 
  24. My middle niece to know Gods love
  25. My middle niece to accept my love and protection 
  26. My middle niece to finish year 9
  27. My middle niece to choose to have a good life 
  28. My middle niece to always feel loved
  29. Wisdom for my middle niece to make wise choices
  30. A new car
  31. A new house
  32. My brother to come clean and accept help
  33. My friend Z Health and mental health
  34. My friend K health and mental health 
  35. My friend C health and mental health
  36. My friend N health and mental health
  37. My friend A health and mental health
  38. No complications for friend N when birthing her 5th child
  39. For my friends L & T to find fulfilment.
  40. For my friend D to live more Christlike and become even closer to our Father in heaven
  41. For my friend T to find direction now all her kids have left home
  42. For all of my friends to get saved
  43. For my kids to make so wholesome Christian friendships
  44. For my kids teachers to be saved
  45. For my community to come to know Jesus 
  46. For God to speak to me
  47. For God to help me become more comfortable in public prayer
  48. For wisdom in parenthood
  49. For Confidence when talking about Jesus
  50. For help with trust in my friendships
  51. For wisdom in my friendships
  52. For direction in my life
  53. For a revelation 
  54. For purpose
  55. For provision for my family
  56. For provision over my friends and community 
  57. For the pastors and leaders of our church
  58. For the pastors and leaders of the world
  59. To get in front with my bills
  60. To love those who are hard to love
  61. To forgive those who have hurt me
  62. To stop swearing 
  63. To become more motivated 
  64. To read the whole bible 
  65. To love God above all else
  66. To let my yes be yes and my no be no
  67. To trust only in the Lord
  68. To be a good role model to my kids
  69. To teach my kids about God
  70. To live a little more quietly 
  71. To always be thankful 
  72. To show compassion 
  73. To choose to see the good in people
  74. To bless others
  75. To fast for something worthy
  76. To keep my promises
  77. To be present 
  78. To create Joy 
  79. To listen to understand and not to reply
  80. To not be a drunkard
  81. To not be a glutton 
  82. To share what I have with others 
  83. To confess my sins daily 
  84. To hear the unheard
  85. To see the unseen
  86. To love the unloved
  87. To do what is right even if its hard
  88. To look after the environment
  89. To look after my neighbors 
  90. To accept discipline from my father
  91. Worship more
  92. Church more 
  93. Pray more
  94. Judge less
  95. See the blessings God gives me
  96. Be kinder
  97. Be more thankful 
  98. Be braver
  99. Be stronger
  100. To be so strong in my faith and love for God that I be unshakable, unbreakable and unstoppable.

loop waves GIF

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Friday, 7 February 2020

5 Things i Love about my Mum

Hello, I'm Nevaeh and i am 10 years old. This is my first blog ever!!! I thought I'd share 5 things i love about my Mum.

The first thing i love about my Mum is she teaches me how to fish.

The second thing i love about my Mum is she always try's hard to looks after everyone

The third thing i love about my Mum is she makes sure everyone is fed and full and okay before herself.

The fourth thing i love about my Mum is she buyers things for other people and puts other before herself.

The fifth thing love about my Mum is she always makes time for everyone and makes sure everyone's okay.

I hope enjoyed my first blog post, my Mum is the best Mum ever and what are some things you love about your Mum?

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Blogging from Bacchus Marsh, Australia