Thinking of thoughtful words and meanings for me and my family was tougher than I thought, this post actually took me two hours to write and I have work tomorrow.. eek! but here is what I came up with for my..
Melissa
M is for Mother, first and foremost, until the day I leave this earth. Being a mother to my two wonderful children has been and always will be the biggest blessing I have ever received from the heavens above. It has not always been easy, many nights I cried feeling totally alone and without help but the love I have for the two pieces of my heart kept me going, knowing they needed me, relied on me and loved me all the way back.
E is for Eclairs. From the bakery or the caramel candy type they are both a favorite of mine. The caramel candies with the chocolate center are even better. If you know me, you'd know they're my sweet tooth weakness.
L is for the fierce Leadership qualities that make me who I am. An advocate from day one for all things truth and never backing down from doing what I thought was right, even if that meant I had to stand alone and without the support of my family. Through school and through life, I am a Leader with a Lionheart.
I is for the Inspiration I try to be. An inspiration for all the young girls like me who never had a chance from the start growing up in a loveless home full of drugs, alcohol, domestic violence and prostitution. For young indigenous girls in a foster system, living in foster homes with foster families they know they'll never fit into. For young women raising babies on welfare, living paycheck to paycheck just trying to survive another day. For the woman I was a year ago defeated and exhausted from all of life's pressures, none of which she asked for but knew she had to stand up and do no questions asked only to be abused and harassed into complete submission by the ones she loved on, whom she'd do absolutely anything for and did. Inspiring people when your a broken soul ain't that easy but an inspiration is what I choose to be.
S is for Small, the person I have become this last year through all of the abuse, lies, harassment and antagonizing comments and statements said to me and about me both online and to others. I have never felt as small as I was walking out of 2022 feeling completely defeated wearing the words they say on my broken heart. In a time I needed people, I needed love, I needed my family, I received the the most hate from the people I love most. For those who don't know what that feels like I envy you. I have loved on every single person who has entered my life and my home. I would go without to see them happy. Yet after I lost my Dad and as I was learning to live life without him hate is all I received.
S is for the very Singular person I have become. My role as a Mum and a partner have become my priority and while I miss the big energy friendships I've had over the years, being singular has become my safety. I trust absolutely not a single soul on this earth not even David. And that's the truth. His family don't want him with me and my family hate - and I mean HATE seeing me happy. Him leaving would hurt but would also take so much pressure off me. He would have his family, shit wouldn't be hard and my family would stop attacking my happiness. Singular is what I've become.
A is for Able and what I want to do while I'm still able. Working with chronic health Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men and women whom are no longer able to do what they actually want to do in life has grown me. Them along with Dad passing I realize that the world doesn't stop for any of us. It just keeps on going and we have to learn to keep on going regardless. Even when we don't want to or think we cant. I spent a while hating that fact. But while attending my first Aboriginal Health Conference last year I now know that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people develop chronic health issues in their 40's, thirty years earlier than the rest of the population. I am 34. I am able. So while I'm still in my 30's and able I'm making plans for the short future I have. And that's where my power is, that's where I win.. against all statistics, all the haters, all the doubters I've had to overcome in my lifetime.. I will do what makes me happy and fulfilled in my lifetime.
David
D is for Driver. Driver of Trucks for the past 15 plus years, the driver of Taxi's for the past month and the only one I let close enough to drive me crazy at times. David knows every road, has experience with a lot of delivering companies and has beaten me in driving interstate. Him and I share a love of driving and do it together often.
A is for Admirable. David had a very different up bringing then the one I had to endure. Stability throughout his life enabled him to enjoy and finish school, go on to higher education and keep the strong friendships from his childhood. He got to grow up alongside his very present grandparents and has never done drugs or even tried a cigarette. I admire these qualities in him and who he is because of the choices he's made for his life thus far.
V is for the Videos he shares with us. Every time he sees his daughter or spends time without us with his friends or at work he always brings back videos to ensure we still feel a part of his day. I have really come to love this quality of his. I enjoy him retelling me about aspects of his day and it's super sweet when he shares with the kids too.
I is for his Intelligence. One of the main things that attracted me to him in the first place. He knows a lot of things I don't know and doesn't make me feel dumb when teaching or telling me things. I have been with both the kids fathers whom I had to dumb myself down for in relationships, but with David, I can trust that he will either be thinking what I'm thinking or something better. His intelligence is attractive.
D is for the Dad he is. Every fortnight and last year even weekly he would see his little girl. The way he prioritizes her, loves her and speaks of her is beautiful. He shares the same love with and for his eldest daughter although he hasn't seen or spoken to her for a very long time. His love for her and the bond they had remains so close to him and its so much bigger than the circumstances that took her away from him. I pray with all my heart she finds him one day and they get that special bond back. And although my kids (being the very independent teenagers they are) wont admit it David is such an amazing and present step father to them. He treats me so well which I think is absolutely pivotal and treats them with kindness and real respect. He includes them into his day, checks in on them individually and is always happy to listen and share wisdom and/or advice. He tells us the weather and corny Dad jokes but most of all he is always willing to help when we need it. They both now refer to him as their "step-dad" to their friends and families and he has really earned that with them. He is in no way perfect, no one is but he tries, which is more then their real fathers do.
Jiedyn
J is for the Jovial boy my son has become and all who know him would agree. Jie can lighten a tense situation with his cheery personality and a quiet car with his confident dance moves. Jie loves to make the people around him happy and can tell when things are off. If I've had a bad day he doesn't think twice about making himself look like a fool to cheer me up. It's one of the really special qualities Jie has naturally.
I is for Intelligent also.. and that's no lie. He'll hate me saying this but next year, his year 11 subjects are English, Math, Advance Math, Physics, Chemistry and Law. My son is the brains of the family and enjoys learning. Jie also loves to find his own ways of working things out and thinking outside the box. He surpasses me with intelligence that's for sure.
E is for Even Tempered. Probably the only one in our family. It takes a lot to really get Jie angry enough to say something and I have only seen him get that mad a few times. Jie is what I describe as an old soul, he is so easy going and stays in his own lane. He has his own views on the world and the people in it. Jie rarely speaks without being spoken to first and observes people and places before commenting. Another amazing quality my son has that I don't have.
D is for Dear. Not a likely word to explain someone but this is Jie. He is a dear son, a dear brother and cousin, a dear friend and he was a dear grandson - Dear meaning beloved, loved, adored, cherished.
Y is for Jiedyn being in the last year of his Youth. Next year Jie will be an adult by the Law of our country and no longer a child. This is so exciting and daunting for us both. I received a hateful and hurtful message on my blog last month about how I "smother my children away from the realities of life" and haven't allowed them to "see the real world for what it is". I agree with them. I had to endure the "real world" the degrading, verbal and physical abuse and racism being mistreated as a child from the ones whom kissed me goodnight and I was completely exposed to drug use, mental health, domestic voilence, drug and/or alcohol fueled violence, rape, prostitution, street life, motorcycle gangs, drug houses, pubs, clubs etc. and yes that was my "real world". But for my kids it's not the "real world" because I chose to keep them and myself away from those people and their lifestyles. If people want to chose to put themselves and/or their kids in those situations and associate with those sorts of things/people/places that's on them and them/their kids will have to grow up real fast like I had to. But for children never having grown up around these people, places etc. Their real world is what their parents have created for them and for those kids, they may never see those lifestyles or be in those places in their lives. It's not the "real world" for every child and that shit lifestyle I had to endure is thank fuck.. nothing my kids have ever had to endure. And with the opportunities they have in front of them.. one they might never have to! I'm thankful my son, in his youth, has never had to see and experience what I'm had to and I'm a proud mother because of it.
N is for "Not interested". Jie is a very rare and unique person whom reminds me a lot of my Dad, the grandfather he grew up with. He has this very non interested part of his identity. What other kids find cool or in style Jie doesnt. He doesn't follow trends or follow crowds, he thinks for himself in a very logical way. Some teenagers his age have to have the latest designer clothes or shoes where as Jie is happy in a plain black jacket and tracksuit pants. The latest goss? Not interested! The most popular kid at school? Not interested. Jie likes what he likes, does what makes him happy and doesn care what others think. You can find Greenday on his playlist and Anime on his TV. But ask him whats popular on the music charts.. Not interested!
Nevaeh
N is for Nosy! and that's it. Anagram for Nevaeh is done! haha.. But seriously, Nevaeh is everything opposite of the last paragraph I wrote of Jie. Nevaeh has to know everything about everything and everyone. This gets her into trouble a lot but that's how she rolls. Nevaeh knows what's trending, who kissed who, whos related to who and everything in between. You want the latest hot goss.. don't buy a magazine, buy Nevaeh a iced latte and you'll get more than you asked for!
E is for expressive, and boy is she what. Nevaeh expresses herself in such a variety of ways which I love about her because its such a unique feature to have. Whether she is yelling at someone being racist or homophobic online or giving you the biggest squishiest hug you've ever felt in your life, you will see, hear and feel what she's thinking. When low, she's by my side needing to be embraced, when she's high, she's pulling me up to dance. When she's lonely she's annoying her brother to play xbox and when shes happy/bored, the dog and cat get fed, loves, hugs and baths haha..
V is for Voluptuous meaning curvatiously attractive. I think I just made that word up but you get the picture. Nevaeh struggles with her weight alongside her skinny little mini peers but the reality is, Nevaeh is a Torres Strait Islander young woman and we aint meant to be little. With thick thighs and brown skin, we tropical sea people from up north. Nevaeh living down here away from her culture struggles but when shes with her people, she is her people and I love seeing that confidence in her.
A is for amusing. Mate, this girl is off the hook with her witty comebacks, her crazy antics she is definitely without a doubt the most amusing one in the family. Nevaeh doesnt care how silly she looks as long as someones laughing. Whether playing games, out with her friends or hanging with her family, she sure knows how to have our tummies and cheeks sore with laughter.
E again, hmm.. Nevaeh is Expensive. Very Expensive. She likes what she likes and what she likes is the latest and greatest no matter the price tag. She will push the budget, $500 on clothes just last month! Then money for movies, money for credit, money to hang out with friends or bubble tea and chewing gum! This girl gonna need a top paying job for her expensive taste!
H is for Honest. Both of my kids are honest but only one of my kids puts themselves in positions to have to be honest! This is a beautiful quality I love about both of my kids. Natural and real honestly about who she is, who she loves and what she wants. A trait that will get her far in life.
And so there we have it! An Acoustic (not) poem for each of us! What would your family’s acoustic poem be?
