Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Two little reasons..

This past month has been hard, I have lost my husband of only six months. My son has lost all the family has ever known and my daughter has lost her father, her security and her structured life.

I was struggling so much emotionally and financially with my kids. I was struggling with the fact that my husband not only walked out on me but our bills and our childrens routine. I also couldn't believe that the support networks we had previously, now were so quick to say I was better off without my husband. People who were at our wedding, who witnessed our love and commitment to each other, who blessed our family and who cried when Matthew promised me forever and my son a Dad always were all keen on seeing us go our seperate ways.

After Matt not turning up to promised "chat times" and visitation, I called on friends and family (both mine and his) for support for not only myself but for him also. I even called a Christian marriage counsellor to try and break down the communication barrier between us. I tried everything I could to try and save my marriage but it was useless and made me feel like a failure when he didn't want us.

His words were so hurtful that I had to stop calling him and try to move forward with and for my kids who were hurting the most. But what I didn't realize was that it was going to make me stronger and more mature as a person and mother.

With no support apart from a few good friends, being on my own was draining. Full aware that the abuse and put downs I was receiving from the man I married I knew I wasn't being the best mother I could be. I was broken. His words, his mothers words and his father trying to rip Nevaeh from me was just too much. I needed help, I needed advice, I needed support and I just needed to know that what I was doing was okay. I called DHS.

Today as I sit here writing this, I still don't fully understand why I am going though this. I might never know. But one thing I am sure of is that I'm a lot stronger and wiser, my son is a lot happier and free to be a brother and my daughter is still in regular contact with her father and his family.

I realised that I have two little reasons to smile.. my bright and beautiful children.

And that is all I need!

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Sunday, 21 October 2012

My latest award..

This morning I woke up to another award, but not one, but two! 

A regular visitor of our blog presented these awards to me in her most recent post blog post over at The Greek Housewife.

With these rewards are questionnaires and instructions to nominate your favorite blogs.

So without further ado.. 

And the nominees are:
Wendy at Saved Sister
Andrea at Love is..
Cassie at Two in diapers

To accept this award you must: 
 1} Answer 5 questions about yourself (same ones listed here).
2} Add award logo in your post and thank the person who gave it to you and link back to the person that gave you the award.
3} Pass it on to 5 other bloggers and notify them on their blog that they won.

And the 5 questions are:
1.} What is your current beauty obsession? My hair straitener.
2.} What is the ONE item you wish you owned? The Last Star-fighter DVD.
3.} What is your favorite topic to read about? Autobiographies.
4.} What inspired you to become a blogger? This blog and blogger.
5.} What nail polish are you wearing now? None, but bright orange was the last coat.

I would like to thank so many people, first of all, my kids, Nevaeh and Jiedyn for giving me something to smile about each and everyday. I'd also like to thank my friends and followers for they're love and comments along the way and last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Viccilicious for the nomination not only of this award - but another!! Thank you for the countless visits to our blog here at Forgetting Mess, Pausing Time.. Your are a very faithful blogger!
Congratulations to all nominees!
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

So one has to question..

Where is Mum supposed to sleep tonight? 
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Monday, 15 October 2012

BMPS Grade Prep Performance..

                                                                       Jie standing next to his best friend - Jess.
Today I went and watched yet another performance by the grade preps of BMPS. They have come a long way since they're last performance back in June and they all looked fantastic dressed in their Aussie themed outfits!

The grade preps waiting to perform..

It was no surprise to find Jie walking into the gymnasiam with his best friend Jess. She is mentioned in this house more an any other class member, the first one on his birthday party invites, the only friend he points out in his school photos and his dance partner at the school disco back in August.
Jess and Jie talking..

When Jie's Pop, my dad was here on the weekend he told him that he only planned to lip sync the song they sung today - "Home Amongst the Gum Trees". I couldn't see him that well from where I was standing but I have no doubt he would have been singing loud and proud. 

The theme of this performance was "Aussie Aussie Aussie" but with such little notice and not much money I decided to search the house before making any sudden purchases. It payed off when I found this shirt hiding way down the bottom of his tall boy draws..
Jiedyn wearing a Dick Johnson racing shirt.
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School Snapshots!

 Bacchus Marsh Primary School 
Jiedyn Baker
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Tuesday, 9 October 2012

While waiting for Jiedyn's Bus..

She always finds a way to have fun!
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Monday, 8 October 2012

This Moment:

The night she fell asleep on my head!

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Weekend Recap..

Here are some snap shots of my Saturday morning..

Four fiddlesticks outside chalking..

Nevaeh Facebooking, or so she thinks!

Saige sneaking in and stopping for a pose this morning.

Jie watching cartoons before breaky.

Saturday Arvo..


Home made slushies after lunch..

And the one place at the table which the kids refused to pack up!..
Friday night the kids and I stayed at my friends house.
Dinner was yum, Kids had a ball, us girls watched bridesmaids and spent a good amount of time laughing while sipping drinks!
Kids got up early Saturday morning and I juggled the four of them allowing Zo to sleep in.
The kids were great and we hit home pretty early.

For lunch I invited my husband over for lunch.
That may sound weird and trust me, it was weird for me too.
He left me three weeks ago and is staying with his Mum.
I'm trying all I can to get him home and thought a nice family lunch might hurry things along.

Jie set the table, Nevaeh poured the drinks which later turned to slushies and well..
Matt never showed.
The kids kept insisting that he was running late and argued to keep lunch on the table and the place mat in place in case he came. 
An hour later they said "Mum, doesn't Dad love us anymore?".

Four hours later I got hold of him and he explained how he fell asleep.

I felt so crap that I needed company. The kids fell asleep early so a girlfriend come over and shouted me Chinese and drinkies. 
Water for Elephants was the movie of choice and soon we were both exhausted and ready for bed!
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Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Roaming Reptiles..

Bacchus Marsh Village Shopping Center have school holiday programs to keep the kids well entertained while schools out. Today they had a variety of Australian reptiles on show and my kids jumped at the opportunity to touch and see a few different reptile species before breakfast!

Jie petting a bearded dragon.

This little guy was a very hungry Green Tree Frog!

This fella was happy just sitting in his enclosure..

And lastly this photo is Nevaeh intrigued at a fresh water croc!

Nevaeh seemed to have one tone while out this morning - Loud! And it didn't help that she was also tired and whiny too. She begged and begged the keepers for a hold of the snakes and the crocodile despite me making it very clear that it was not going to happen. The morning was otherwise Okay, I might add a video to this post later if you'd like to check back! 

There is another show at 2pm for any locals reading.. 
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Monday, 1 October 2012

Things like this just never happen to me..

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know dear
how much I love you..

This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me!
Thank-You dear friend for brightening up my otherwise miserable day today!!
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Blogging from Bacchus Marsh, Australia