Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Two little reasons..

This past month has been hard, I have lost my husband of only six months. My son has lost all the family has ever known and my daughter has lost her father, her security and her structured life.

I was struggling so much emotionally and financially with my kids. I was struggling with the fact that my husband not only walked out on me but our bills and our childrens routine. I also couldn't believe that the support networks we had previously, now were so quick to say I was better off without my husband. People who were at our wedding, who witnessed our love and commitment to each other, who blessed our family and who cried when Matthew promised me forever and my son a Dad always were all keen on seeing us go our seperate ways.

After Matt not turning up to promised "chat times" and visitation, I called on friends and family (both mine and his) for support for not only myself but for him also. I even called a Christian marriage counsellor to try and break down the communication barrier between us. I tried everything I could to try and save my marriage but it was useless and made me feel like a failure when he didn't want us.

His words were so hurtful that I had to stop calling him and try to move forward with and for my kids who were hurting the most. But what I didn't realize was that it was going to make me stronger and more mature as a person and mother.

With no support apart from a few good friends, being on my own was draining. Full aware that the abuse and put downs I was receiving from the man I married I knew I wasn't being the best mother I could be. I was broken. His words, his mothers words and his father trying to rip Nevaeh from me was just too much. I needed help, I needed advice, I needed support and I just needed to know that what I was doing was okay. I called DHS.

Today as I sit here writing this, I still don't fully understand why I am going though this. I might never know. But one thing I am sure of is that I'm a lot stronger and wiser, my son is a lot happier and free to be a brother and my daughter is still in regular contact with her father and his family.

I realised that I have two little reasons to smile.. my bright and beautiful children.

And that is all I need!



10 replied:

vickilicious said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you! I'm sure it's hard for you right now but you will rise a winner from all this and you will do it this for 'two little reasons'. They will be your strength! Stay strong, Michelle!

Amy said...

Been there, more than once. It's a pain to your core to feel unwanted and I'm very sorry for you, even though I don't know you. Remember, even though it may not seem as so now, there is a silver lining to your clouds. Your little ones are adorable by the way :)

Mireille said...

I'm so sorry Melissa...I don't know what to say right now...I know you will go through this and stand up because you have to, because your children need you and because sometimes in life we just have to go on no matter how much it hurts. But it will go away ! Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less...

Nuru Nyambura Ngugi said...

I can only imagine the agony that you are going through. For sure, it is really painful to experience such rejection especially after doing all that you can to mend the situation. Nevertheless, take heart. God is with you. He has promised to never leave nor forsake His people (Hebrews 13:5), and He is also close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). May He give you the strength to go through and to overcome this trying time, and may you come out of it all victorious and better than you ever were before. Romans 8:28 says that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Sarah said...

Hang in there! Your babies are adorable and I wish you all the luck!

NashvegasGal said...

Melissa, I just happen to run across one of your tweets a moment ago. Had no idea what you have been going through until now. You must know you have many people who care for you. Many you have never met except via your blog. God's peace, comfort, knowledge, understanding and strength be yours. Bless you and your sweet family. Focus on what love and goodness God has placed in your life for you "right now!"

Summer Perdew said...

So sorry to hear of your lose and the sadness you and your family are having to suffer. I know it's hard having to stay strong for your kids in the long run everything will work it's self out. try to stay positive. praying for you guys. I'm a New follower :)

meandmr.com said...

Newest follower here! I found you through the Friday link up! Cute blog, I can’t wait to read more!
-meandmr.com

katherine said...

I just don't know why you have to go through this either. But I am proud that you are 'going through it', and not just lying down and giving up. It will be rewarded!

Nell said...

You don't want to hear that you will get through this, but you really will, and TRIUMPHANTLY! Your two little sweethearts will make you get up, and get on with things, even when you don't want to, or think you can.

Post a Comment

Please don't leave without saying hi, We love hearing for you..

© 2016 A LOT OF LITTLE BITS OF LOVE, AllRightsReserved

Blogging from Bacchus Marsh, Australia