So let me tell you about my friend Ed.
Ed was one of my very first clients when I started working in the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander sector 3 years ago.
Ed had Diabetes and severe depression and so in my second year I became his Social and Emotional Wellbeing Worker.
Not many people liked Ed and his rude and crude humor, and honestly, Ed didn't like many people because people used and abused his great big heart.
But Ed and I got along right from the start!
When I met Ed, he was slumped over in an armchair in his lounge room hoarded with music CD's, DVD's Memorabilia, old newspapers, musical instruments and just "stuff".
His house wasn't filthy, it was just filled with "stuff" and was what I’d rather call organized chaos.
At the time of meeting Ed he had given up on life, deeply hurt by past relationships/friendahips, his bills had gotten out of control, he wasn't managing financially and just didn't want to live anymore. I remember him saying that nothing made him happy anymore.
Within a month on our program, and me coming to visit each week Ed's health and mental health started to improve.
I attended Ed’s medical appointments with him, we got Ed carers for one on one socialization, a financial counsellor to help with his bills, a really good Psychologist, a gardener and soon enough Ed was thriving.
Every visit from then on Ed was never in his lounge room.
He was either outside in his veggie garden with his little dog Penny, out and about at various music venues listening to his favorite Indigenous local bands/singers or in his back room in which he created into a studio for his shows for the local Bacchus Marsh Radio Station.
Ed had such a happy life, sharing the flavors of his garden whenever I'd visit dragging me outside to see all the wonderful things he had growing in his garden to then pulling me inside to watch an episode of Seinfeld (he could recite the whole thing word for word) just so I’d stay a little longer.
Ed and I hung out a few times outside of work to enjoying a few tribute bands. I really enjoyed seeing him so happy and enjoying his life!
Then none day last year he suffered a severe stroke.
Needless to say, Ed is now paralyzed down the left hand side of his body unable to use his left arm, leg or face.
Ed was my first exposure to a stroke and what it does to a person. It broke my heart to see him this way.
Knowing how independent he loved being and how social he had become I eventually stopped going to see him because of the hurt it caused me.
But I was there on the important days, his birthday I walked in playing and singing “celebrate good times come on” as he did Physio.
Aa time has gone by, Ed has got some speech back and can now say half of my name "Lissa".
Although Ed is no longer my client, and has even moved away from our community I have started to see him again fortnightly.
Ed was a part of the stolen generation, denied knowledge of his biological name, birthplace and birth parents for over 50years through the adoption agency.
As an infant Ed and given to a "white" family whom also adopted other indigenous boys.
Today all of his parents have now passed.
I sat with Ed for many hours when he recieved his adoption papers and learned of himself and tried to understand who he was and where he belonged.
Like so many of us who grow up without culture, there is always something missing and we bonded and shared our missing piece stories together.
His cousin whom he knows and trusts has guardianship of him but hasn't seen him for many months as she lives in another state was happy that I was there last weekend
Speaking to her, they're trying to get him a customized Wheelchair so he can be more mobile to attend more outings etc.
Other than that Ed is still the same Ed, tweeting his days away, watching his beloved North Melbourne Footy Team, sharing with me photos of his dog whom lives with someone new and is still enjoying his Seinfeld episodes.
And last Saturday, I introduced him to Youtube Music on his smart TV!
When I left he was bopping away to Black Sabbath.
I look forward to many more years of friendship for us!
~ To have a friend is to be a friend ~
3 replied:
Aw, this is such a heart warming story! It sounds like you have made a real difference in his life. Wishing Ed all the best; my grandfather suffered a few strokes and it was so hard to see him lose a little bit more of himself with each one.
Good on you for being such a wonderful friend in need!
Aww! That is lovely that you and Ed got along right from the start. It sounds like you changed his life for the better. That is so sad that he had a stroke. What a wonderful friend you are. x
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