Monday, 5 October 2015

My first Pregnancy + Jiedyn's Birth Story

Our beautiful healthy boy was born in Bacchus Marsh Hospital on November 29. He was absolutely beautiful and I loved him instantly. We named him Jiedyn Karl, this is his story.. 

My first pregnancy was like no-ones you've ever heard before. I can already guarrentee you that! The day I found out I was pregnant I was heavily addicted to Marijuana. I was 17yo and living in an abandoned house full of rooms in Brisbane. The people who occupied the rooms were mainly made up of drug addicts and prostitutes. For us (Jiedyn's father and I) it was a roof over our head and a warm place to sleep at night for next to no cash plus we had friends who were there with us, the only sort of friends we could trust while living rough. I remember going to the doctors after days of sickness. Mostly not being able to keep anything down. The doctor had me do a urine test and announced about 10 minutes later that I was pregnant. He layed me on a bed and felt my belly. I was more than half way pregnant but wasn't showing. He requested that I have an ultra sound asap to make sure baby was developing well. I was honest and concerned about my drug habit and my unborn child. The doctor advised me not to stop smoking Marijuana but to cut down on how much I smoke. I remember leaving absolutely terrified.

After leaving I went home. If you could call an abandoned house with no power or gas home.. I remember isolating myself into my room with thoughts of what I was going to do. An abortion was never a factor for me but I was worried about how I was going to create a life for my unborn child. I prayed and thanked God for giving me a reason to look after myself. I was at a point in my life were I was contemplating using heavier drugs and trying a new high. Everyone around me used ice or heroin or popped pills, although I've known my whole life that all of these things were wrong, it was becoming normal to me. People in the squat were getting comfortable, shooting up in front of me and stopped hiding their highs from me as they once did. But I knew that my weeks of prayer for God to give me a way out of the life I was living was answered with Him giving me a child. A responsibility and it made me grow up and mature even more than I already had.

With only 4 months to plan for a baby, time was against me. Being a foster child myself I didn't want that for my baby. I asked God what I should do. Jie's father was absolutely no help. I felt completely alone and isolated even when he was around. He'd been on the streets a long time. He was excited to be a father some days yet other days he wasn't serious about providing for the baby at all. Drugs owned his thoughts day in and day out. And that never changed.

I finally decided that I had to leave Brisbane and find my sister in Victoria. I knew she had a baby and could help me. I saved cash and found Mum and her husband Troy who too were living on the streets. I got us all tickets to Melbourne with a three day stop over in Coffs Harbour.

The weeks leading up to us going was hard. Some days Mum was too drugged up to have a conversation with. Sometimes all I wanted was for someone to tell me I was doing the right thing. Someone to tell me that things would be okay. The whole journey from Brisbane to Melbourne was unimaginable. My Mum, Step Dad and Partner were shooting up on the train, popping pills and drinking the whole way. The three day stop over was worst. They spent most of their days doctor shopping, stealing and off their faces. We got kicked out of the back packers because they we're high and mouthy. We were forced to pitch a tent at the Coffs Harbour Caravan Park and buy a blow up mattress. All our money went on drugs. I was still smoking at the time but only about a gram a day.

When we finally got to Melbourne the street life was way different. There were gangs and groups of streeties. Unlike Brisbane where all the streeties stuck together, in Melbourne if you spoke to one group of "streeties" than you wouldn't dare talk to another group. I learned pretty quick to just not talk to anyone. Desperate to find my sister we headed for the Aboriginal Co-Op in Morwell. From there it was only a phone call and I was back in contact with my sister after 4 years of no contact.

We stayed with my sister for a while, then we moved in with my Nana. Time was ticking for baby and I was able to start buying cloths etc and getting excited for the birth. It wasn't easy trying to do this with unfamiliar relationships with my family. My Nana was the one I most consoled in. Eventually we were asked to move out and so we went to some of my Mums old friends in Moe before staying at the Moe Caravan park. There was a lot of moving about because everywhere we went Jie's father stuffed us up. He stole from my family and from people I've known almost my entire life. Half the town wanted to catch up with him once word got out and so we'd have to flee every few days.

While at one of our old family friends houses in Moe we were going through week old newspapers. We turned to the death notices and saw that my partners grandmother was in there. Daniel wanted to see his family who too lived in VIC so we made plans to visit. His parents offered us to move in with them and there we stayed until two weeks before I was ready to have baby.

We were told to leave as his mother was leaving his father. With no where to go we walked into the local DHS building for help. I broke down and they put us in emergency housing that day.

We had just two weeks to plan for baby. Appointments, ultra sounds and preparing for our baby was tough. I also found out while settling into our new house that Daniel was still thieving and also had a warrant out for his arrest from years ago. He was on the run and had to lay low.

I did however get a chance to enjoy my pregnancy for the first time. Feeling my baby moving and kicking was weird and amazing all rolled into one. I took daily vitamins and was only smoking every few days instead of every single day. 

When our baby's due date came and went and I started to worry. The doctor insured me that everything was fine and 10 days after his due date I was booked in for and induction. 

On that 10th day I slept in. We were supposed to be at the hospital at 8.30am but we walked down after 10am. I was shown to my room and was induced straight away. I had Gas and Pethadine throughout the cause of labor and spent a lot of time in the shower. 

Daniel, his mother and his sister were in the room. I was very embarrassed and told Daniel numerous times that I didnt want them there but they refused to leave. It felt uncomfortable having his sister just sitting and watching me in pain and at one point I told his mother to leave me alone as she kept wiping my forehead with cold facewashes and although she meant well it was driving me crazy having this stranger trying to help me. 

Daniel cut the cord after I birthed our son and our baby came out purple. He wasn't breathing. The umbilical cord had been wrapped around his throat three times and his airways were blocked. Using a suction machine they cleared his throat and while on my chest and his tiny fingers around my right forfinger he took his first breath into the world. It was amazing. 

I remember thinking of how wonderful God was for giving me a way out of life on the streets, a healthy son and how amazing my body was to produce a life just like that. I was in awe as the color returned to his body and breast feeding came so naturally to us both. He was perfect and mothering him was easy. He was such a great baby.

Jie spent three days in a humidicrib as he was born with Jaundice. But after some time under UV lights he was fine and we were released to go home. And so my journey with him had began..

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