School Holidays: Days 6 & 7

Hosanna, Judea and Nevaeh

On day 6 I babysat three children for the morning and kept my fluids up all day preparing for my Red Cross Blood Donation scheduled for later on in the day. The maintenance guy did come back although I thought he was finished the day before but apparently he still had a few holes to sand back. The winds were worst that day and I had to call housing after going outside and noticing that my antenna was hanging by a wire. While outside I had also noticed that a tree out the front had a few branches blown down and were also hanging so I had to get the ladder and handsaw them down. The maintenance guy didn't offer a hand, watching from his truck but must have been impressed asking me out for coffee next weekend. I declined but was very flattered, even if he was almost twice my age. The kids were good and got picked up soon before I was on my way to the Red Cross Van and after the anenna guy had taken what was left of my antenna down. On the way I almost turned back twice. I hate needles, not passionately but I do get nervous when I have to get blood tests etc. But I put on a brave face walking into the van with the kids both asking why I'd willingly want to have a needle when I didn't have to. The afternoon turned into a bit of a learning experience for us all in the end and knowing that my donation would go towards saving three lives was enough for me. The actual needle itself was much bigger than I had anticipated and apparently my vain was small making one of the nurses call for a co-worker to do the incision. In the end they cut off the circulation in my whole arm and told me to squeeze a stress ball. That was fine until I lost all feeling and function of my arm. The nurse ended up missing the vain but fiddled the needle through and into my vain. I cant explain how painful that was. They still didnt give me back my circulation until around 30 seconds after the needle was in although I tried begging. Once they had a nice flow of blood they took the pressure off my upper arm and I was left with a pins and needles sensation from my elbow to my finger tips. It was bizarre. 30 minutes later after a nibble and a cool drink I was free to go. I felt fine half expecting to feel some sort of change. I was told to take it easy over the next few days but I actually did feel fine so I made a decision to do shopping. 2 hours of shopping, a thirty minute dinner before going to a candle party. It ended up being a late night but the worst was yet to come. The next morning I felt faint.

Courageously giving blood

 I felt sick. I felt poisoned. Anyone who has had food poisoning would know how I felt the next day. It was horrible. I couldn't get out of bed so I just didn't. Jie helped Nevaeh with breakfast and I slept a little longer. I couldn't figure out why I was so sick. When I did get up I looked at the pamphlet given to me after my donation. I had a bit of a read of the symptoms after donating and everything I felt that morning was there. Only intensified because I had chosen to have a glass of wine the night before at the candle party. What a stupid stupid move. I switched my phone on to call the red cross hotline when my phone was going berzerk with message beeps and vibrations. Something like 6 missed calls and a few messages. A friend was asking me to desperately babysit three littlies and me being me agreed. The hotline just said to keep my fluids up and to get plenty of rest. Lucky for me the littlies big brother stayed to help me and I did get plenty of rest throughout the day. After dinner the kids were all settled watching a movie together the parents gave me a call after leaving the funeral they attended with a time to pick them all up. The kids all wanted to stay so I offered to take her other one tooso her and her husband could go and see a late night movie and spend some quality time together. They were stoked and excitedly accepted! Although the

Altius content with 6 kids in the house

  son with them had fallen asleep and was now in bed, their other son had got home late and wanted to come hang out with us so they dropped him over instead. They got to download a movie and snuggle on the couch for the night and I had 7 children. The kids drifted off all at different times until it was only their eldest and my eldest (the night owls) awake. I snuggled on the couch until I couldn't keep my eye balls awake much longer Jie and Zach went to bed around a half hour after me (at least I think they did). Although there were a few hick-ups with Matt picking Nevaeh up late, the night was awesome, the kids were well behaved and my house was kept relatively clean. I was quite impressed and the night was perfect school holiday fun for all ages!

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School Holidays: Days 3, 4 & 5

The 3rd and 4th days consisted of yard work, yard work and more yard work. A bloke from one our local churches here in beautiful Bacchus offered to help tidy up our backyard for a small price. In two days we slashed, whipper snippered and mowed the back lawns as well as got rid of some old gates which really opened up our backard and made it look bigger! A few trees and bushes were also removed here and there and the old metal fence/gating was donated to the community garden in Darley. Jiedyn was bored so he called his friend Toby to come over for a sleep over and the boys were hardly seen or heard from the whole day busily playing pokemon cards, watching movies and playing paddocks. Nevaeh was at my side the whole day, helping me pull trees down, handing me the rake and pulling out weeds along side me. Her favorite part of the day was when we found some beautiful bird crafted nests nestled in two of our trees. Nevaeh was amazed that birds could create such things and asked more questions then I could answer. Our night ended up being a quiet one as we were just too exhausted to do anything special. The boys enjoyed their night together before falling asleep at around 11pm.. 

The 5th day of the school holidays were spent enjoying each others company. The maintenance guy was over fixing up the last of the walls, doors and draws and it was way to windy to do much else. The kids kept each other well occupied as I pottered around the house doing odd jobs. After lunch we went for a walk down to the local YMCA to pick up my keys and stopped at Peppertree Park for a slurpie and a kick of the footy. Sadly Toby had to go home that night as Jie broke a safety rule but not before spending dinner with us and hanging out :)

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School Holidays: Day 2

I am so glad this life is mine.. I have had a pretty relaxed day after a late night last night. Finally got a semi sleep-in before Nevaeh was up and I couldn't bring myself to let her roam alone.. Jie ended up jumping in my bed and snuggled up close before I turned on the radio and just spent the morning in bed with my two precious kiddos talking about our night, sleep and calling Matt/Dad. The kids wanted to see him so they called to ask him round for lunch. Lunch went well though he didn't stick around for long.. Just enough to agitate me. The kids were content with the visit and kept busy the rest of the afternoon playing army men,

as I painted Nevaeh's and my fingernails. Worship songs and the smell of the lavender plug in filled the air.. The kids started bickering about something so I told them to march out the back and play. Ita amazing how much fresh air is good for them. It's often when I tell them to go out the back and play that they actually enjoy each others company the most. Soon after they were busy I cleaned and spent some time watching a movie in Jie's bed. For the next 3 hours they were in and out to show me slugs and snails and butterflies and caterpillars asking a series of questions as the come and went again. By 6pm fingers were washed and dinner was served. Sausages, pumpkin and potato mash with a side of garlic'd broccoli, peas corn and carrot. The house is still content with Nevaeh and Jie ending their day in Jie's bed watching a movie together. This life of mine is just so amazingly settled.. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Day 2, over and out!

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School Holidays: Day 1

The kids and I have had an absolutely amazing day today. My father, the kids Pop woke us all up this morning (no school holiday sleep in ): to take us to Bunnings to get a rough idea of the new shed I asked for this Christmas. Before we left, being the sarcastic man that he is, he had Nevaeh convinced that we were going to 'bung creek' to take her for a swim. Nevaeh, worried, turned to me and said "Mum, I am getting angry at Pop, I feel like I want to swear". I tried so hard to keep a straight face but she was dead serious. Eventually we jumped in the car and she knew he was mucking around but that moment today was just as funny as could be.. Especially when he said for her to get some bathers and a towel. Too funny.

After Bunnings we went to the Darley Market. Of the nearly nine years living here in the Marsh I have no once been to the local Darley Market which is walking distance of about forty five minutes away. I was taken back in time around 10-14 years when we used to go marketing each and every weekend and buy videos, plants etc with the family. I realized how much I missed the markets and for sure will be going in future. The kids had fun browsing, playing at the playground but more so at the petting farm which was set up for all ages. This farm today had everything from guinea pigs, chickens and baby lambs to ducks, a tame rosella and even two baby joeys. I was quite unreal. I clicked a few snaps to share, I just couldn't help it.

After the markets we went home and so did Dad. Matt was supposed to come over to spend a few hours with the kids but text saying "He didn't feel like it" leaving the kids devastated yet again. In the end I got very little done, the kids played outside, had lunch and enjoyed some quality time together. Some washing got done, a few phone calls were made before Nevaeh and I had an afternoon sleep.

2 hours later we were on our way to order some dinner and meet up with a mate I had met at my course who was participating in the Moorabool Relay For Life. I could not believe how big the event actually was. Hundreds of people lined Maddingley Park oval with stalls of yellow and purple. Jumping castles, Rock climbing walls, local business stalls, even groups and organisations coming together to celebrate cancer survivors, remember loved ones and give those still fighting hope. What an amazing community to be a part of. The kids and I did three laps for our beautiful Nana Jeanette Standing/Hester who past away in 2009. We lit a candle in her honor and spoke about her like we never seem to do anymore. The night got emotional when all the candles lined the relay track and we went around to read the messages. Grand parents, sisters, uncles, aunties etc were all written on the bags of lives lost. You could feel the hurt and pain of effected families around the oval. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. But what tore me to pieces were one sister writing of the loss of her 14yo sister and children writing of their mothers or fathers thanking them for their love and lessons taught. I broke. It was a reality no-one can explain.. I was going to put off going today but I am so glad I went to support others who have loved and lost. I never again will take life for granted and will be praying tonight for peace over the hearts of the carers and families who have to go on without loved ones.. All tears aside, it was a wonderful event and my family and I have had an incredible day and night! What amazing community spirit we have here in Bacchus Marsh.. Loved every moment and love being part of a community who time and time again come together to support each other! Totally love the love here.. Thanks for a wonderful-wonderful event all who made it everything it was, see you again next year.. xo

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Undeserving but grateful..

I just love being "Mum"!

Juggling school, kinder and now my course has been a bit of a struggle but at the end of each day, as we settle down to chat about our days, I am thankful to have this life. To be sharing it with two beautiful little people and to to be making memories along the way. I am so glad the past is in the past and I am forgiven for my mistakes. Everything I have been through has had an impact but it hasn't defeated me. In all the brokenness I have endured I am not broken. I am whole, I am loved and I am happy. 

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Tuesday Nights

I dont know why, but Tuesday nights always seem to be an effort for me. Today, for the first time since Nevaeh started kindergarten I actually enjoyed the peace. I cleaned for most part of my morning (after the kids left) before studying in preparation for my first in class assessment tomorrow. Before I knew it, the clock told me I had to pick up Jie and no sooner after we got home Nevaeh come through the door. I hadn't finished studying but between the cats meowing and the kids bickering there was no way I was going to focus on the last three pages of my notes. A friend popped in as I was packing up and Jie fell asleep on his bed in front of the fan. Which left Nevaeh to watch barbie.. The afternoon was then gone with chatter and cups of tea and after my friend left it was time to think about dinner. Chicken Parma from the local pizza shop was on everyone's lips so it was settled. Waking Jie up for dinner was difficult, he seemed so tired today. I have been letting the kids stay up until 8pm lately mostly due to the fact that any earlier and they're up at the crack of dawn. Dinner was enjoyed before a few books were read, a puzzle was done and it was bedtime. The kids brushed their teeth and showed me before bickering their way to bed. It was then I realized how much I now enjoy Tuesdays to myself. I had a head ache, all the lights were on, the TV was so loud, the lounge, kitchen and bathroom were again messy and the cats were meowing to be fed. Nevaeh was calling out that she wanted another kiss, another cuddle, another drink etc. and all I could think about was bed. Tuesday nights seem to be the most chaotic. Its bin night, it's get-everything-organised-for-everyone-night and it's the only night of the week I need a panadol to get through. By 7pm my energy is gone.. By 8pm I too am ready for bed. But then there are uniforms to be ironed, clothes to be set out, reader log books to be signed, cats to fed, litter to be changed, bags to be packed, washing to be folded, bins to be emptied, the bin to be put out and lunchboxes plus drink bottles to be filled. It's now 11pm and everything above has been done and I am well and truely ready for bed.. 

Tuesday nights are always such a hassle, but it's also the one night I feel most accomplished and thank myself in the morning for! G-night friends.. Rest well, I know I will!

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Four and Twenty..

Mondays and Fridays are now the only time Nevaeh and I spend together by ourselves.

In this time she is still learning so much about her Mama.

And I am learning more about her. 

She asks me everything about everything.

Always curious to know something about anything.

Here are twenty questions Nevaeh asks me often..

"Mum, how do you sing ..."

"Mum why does the bin go out on Tuesdays?"

"Who's coming over today?"

"Why do you always play angry birds?"

"Did you pass that level?"

"How old are you?"

"Mum, is it a special night?"

"What time is lunch time today?"

"What are we having for tea?"

"Are we going to Church today?"

"Are we having dessert tonight?"

"How did God make ..."

"How do bees make honey?"

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Can you read me this book?"

"Why do you wear make up?"

"Who's that walking past?"

"Can I pat that dog?"

"Can I feed the cats?"

"Who is the boss of you?"

"Why is it always my choice?"

"Why does the clock tick?"

"Why can't I be a boy?"

"Why do we have to wear socks?"

"Why cant I ask people how old they are?"

etc.. etc..

I know, I went over twenty, but honestly I could hear her saying each one of those in my head as I was writing them. She does not stop. From morning to night she is constantly wanting to know every little thing happening, and why it's happening and most of the time it's fun broadening her knowledge. As you can imagine she says "WOW!" a heck of a lot. And her communication, speech and social skills are amazing. 

She is only four and already so eager to learn..

I hope as she journeys through Kinder, she is provided with the answers I don't have..

Maybe one of the only disadvantages of being a young Mum..

But that is what Google is for right?

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My 1st Fathers Day!

First of all, HAPPY SPRING Australia! I'm super excited that spring is back, winter has been so miserable down here in Victoria this year. The forcast for the rest of this week is fine fine fine and I cannot wait to get back out in the garden and soak up some vitamin D!

Today was Fathers Day! My first fathers day since being a lone lonely loner.. Nevaeh spent the weekend with her Dad and so she had a ball today spoiling her Dad at her poppies for Fathers Day but Jie felt a bit flat after his father showed up unanounced (and under the influence) yesterday demanding to see him. I courageously asked him off my property before he made a scene and Jie was devostated when he realized that I said he couldn't see him. I became the bad guy. I allowed Jie to cool off for a bit and knew how hard it was for Jie to understand without actually knowing that his father was a drug addict. I have never felt the need to explain the reasons why his father cant be in his life and have always thought that one day his Dad can explain that to him. From the age of three, when questioned by Jie I have told him that some fathers are just not ready to be fathers and that the day will come when his real dad will be in his life and be a great Dad.. But when given the opportunity two months ago, his father was given a chance to re-establish a relationship with Jie which only lasted 4 visits. Without word he stood Jiedyn up the following two weeks and enough was enough for me. I couldn't bare to see my son hurt any more over his father. Until he showed up yesterday we hadn't seen or heard from him since Jie last saw him in July. Jiedyn loves his Dad and I think being fathers day the next day contributed to Jie feeling hurt that I was stopping him from seeing him.

Because Jie had a friend over for the night, I just let the night go on without any real conversation around the matter. The boys were too busy playing pokemon cards and watching harry potter to notice what I was doing. Jie didn't bring anything up at dinner or a bed time so I just left it.

This morning I woke up and the boys had already had breakfast and right back to playing pokemon cards.. When I woke up Jie pulled a plastic bag from his school bag and brought it over to me on the couch.. He had got me a fathers day gift with his own money from his money box. Apparently there was a fathers day stall at school (which I did know about but didn't worry too much about this year) and he dug into his own money for me.

I felt completely amazing when he thanked me for being his mummy and dad too. As his mate laughed at the gifts which had #1 Dad on them Jie just looked at me in awe. He threw his long arms around me and told me he loved me. My eyes welled up. He is such a special kid. Deserving of a father but thankful for his Mama.

On the way to Church this morning he then asked why he couldn't see his real dad for fathers day. He said he really wanted to and that he missed him. He said I was unfair because Nevaeh was with her Dad and he couldn't work out why he couldn't be with his.

Because we have changed the rules and how we run our home life, it was so much easier to explain in a way Jie would understand. 'Good choices have rewards, bad choices have consequences' has become a sort of mini family motto for us. So when I explained that his Father was making the wrong choices (without going into detail) with his life and that the wrong choices have consequences Jie soon understood and was content about not seeing his Dad. It's been so hard to try and keep him from getting caught up in his fathers self inflicted drama, its hard to find the right words to say to a seven year old who has never seen drugs or the major effects of alcohol. Half the time I feel like I should just tell him but the other half of me doesn't want to expose him to things a child doesn't need to worry about. I'm torn as to what my next step will be and worry now that I have told his father that he is not seeing him. He is just so unpredictable.

Fathers day for us this year was mostly spent at Church, praising and worshipping the Father of all fathers. Our Church blessed me and the other fathers of the church with Fathers Day gifts, it was awesome to be recognized for being both Jie's Mum and Dad. Dinner was fish 'n chips (my Dad's favorite) and dessert was chocolate and coconut snow balls which Jie made all by himself! Super tasty..

Happy Fathers Day Dads and we hope you got super dooper spoiled today!

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