Friday, 18 May 2012

Grace..

This is the letter I wrote to Jiedyn's father today..

Daniel,
First of all, I’m sorry to hear that you have put yourself behind bars again. It’s not karma, there are laws in Australia and you are the example of what happens to people who don’t abide by the laws of this state.

Let me get a few things sorted with you before I say anything else. I am completely and utterly appalled by your absents in our sons life. He does not deserve to be pushed to the side of your life as you go about thieving and drugging yourself daily. Jiedyn would have loved to have seen you, had you at his pirate birthday party last year or even just a Christmas card at Christmas.. But it seems that the only time you want anything to do with him is when you have no one else. He only hears from you after you’re locked up in a cell for the things that YOU chose to do and made priority in your life above him. So no, you won’t be hearing from Jiedyn while you’re in there. He is enjoying school and a great childhood without having to worry about you’re self inflicted situation.

As for me being your friend.. No, it doesn’t work like that. I have forgiven you for bashing me while I was pregnant with Jie, leaving me in a junky infested house while you went to get off your face in Brisbane, while you spoke bad to your darly mates about me, for bringing drug addicts into our house while Jie was little. I have forgiven you for cheating on me with numerous women and little girls,  for all the times you stole my key card and left my bank empty without even a dollar for nappies or formula for our son, for all the times you had me lie for you, stealing cars, TV’s etc. I even forgave you when I found needles and tablets around the house, when you promised you wouldn’t be long then would spend all your time and money on your dealer than me and your beautiful son and even  when I had a dealer from Sunshine on my door step grab me by the thought demanding money you had owed him for Heroin.  I have forgiven you for anything that you ever did and said to make me cry. No-one will ever know the pain, loneliness and worthlessness I felt while you cheated and lied your way though our relationship. I loved you and waited on you wasting 2 and a half years of my adolescence with you. I’m sorry. Although I have forgiven you with complete forgiveness there is no way on God’s glorious earth I’d even remotely allow you anywhere near my heart or within my life again.

Jiedyn has a great Father figure in his life. He enjoys the one on one time with the only Daddy he has ever known. Matt has never missed a birthday, a Christmas or so much as a goodnight kiss. He has a man to tell secrets to, play games and read books with, to walk to school with and an amazing dad who respects his mother. Matthew and I got married on the 18th of March. It was a beautiful wedding shared with our close friends and family. As part of the wedding Matthew dedicated himself to Jiedyn too promising to always be there for him, to respect him and to help raise him to be the best man God created him to be. He has held that promise, it’s so easy for him because he loves and has raised Jiedyn since he was two. He has this unbreakable bond with his Dad which you could have had too if you would have just put him first.

I don’t believe it’s too late. But it will not happen while your in there or around drugs.

You have to show that you want it by living a clean and healthy life. My son will never EVER be exposed to the things you had me exposed to at 16. It is my duty of care to insure that my kids have a relationship with first and foremost they’re true creator - GOD. I also want both of my kids to always have reliable family and friends to see them grow up, to always know and feel that they are loved and to show love to others and I as a mother need to live in a way that I’d want them to one day live. Kids learn from what they see..

I’d really appreciate you not contacting us again until your out and clean.

I have provided a bible and bible study in hopes that you’ll live by the word of faith once leaving that place. The best relationship you can ever have in this world is with God. If you want something in common with Jie when you get out read the book of Matthew, he loves his father in Heaven and we’ll be praying for you to repent and give your heart to Christ.

Light and Love
Melissa


Inside the package I put a bible, a bible study and a few photo's of Jiedyn. In four years Jiedyn has seen his Father around eight times, most of which he was under the influence and told to leave. In six years Daniel has been incarcerated three times. The last time Jiedyn saw his father was December 2010 when the courts allowed him a supervised visit. 
Jiedyn loves and idolises his Father.

2 replied:

Sarah K. (The Mama Pirate) said...

My father was a drug addict who was in and out of prison my whole childhood. He would make meaningless and empty promises and as a child, I believed them. It is still really painful to think about but I'm so thankful for my mother and aunt and family that loved and cared for me. Jiedyn is so lucky to have you and your husband and family to love him and make him feel special.

Mrs Melissa Baker said...

Sorry you had to go through what you went through with your Dad Sarah. And thank you for your on going encouragement! x

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